Wednesday, December 15, 2004 @ 1:24 AM :D
♥
Life's a disaster.The exams had ended and i thought life would shift for the better.I then start to wonder,remember also if u want to put it that way, everything's going to change.People will be leaving, the ones i cherish so bad, seperation of the chance to interact with others will be gone as well.Even people i dislike will be gone, how will life with all these changes?Would it be for the better?
Time, is of an importance and is a valueable thing to have.I hate time.Nothing in this world was made to last, in physical terms.Time is the worst thing to have and not have.Sometimes i wonder if i would rather do away with all the times i shared with my friends so i would never miss them when the time came for them to go.However, it was a great chance to spend time with them in the first place.Why do things have to be this way?
Foreigners, it's great to come together with them as they may be the nicest people u ever knew.But, what's the logic behind the time of stay for foreigners?If they stay too short, they will make few friends. If they stay too long, they will create friendships too deep.Nothing is ever fair.
Li yang, all i ever wanted was to always be with you, your company always made me felt at home, which i could never have sitting at my real home.You have shown me what a true friend is, and everything you did was for the best of everyone,while sometimes leaving some options for yourself.I dont feel human for the way i treat you sometimes, i'm sorry.
Yang Kuan, i admit all my wrongs in the past.I took you for granted and always shot back at you.I'm really really sorry if my practical jokes were hurting or if seen in the wrong direction.I think that it is perhaps sometimes we really find things we say about each other, the one of us may find it a joke, while the other find it an insult.But what i really want to say is, i am concerned for others, and please do not doubt that in me.
Bradford, the cool guy.Well, we will still be able to see each other,but just not as often.Just try to speak up more often(although it is very unlikely u will view this site)
Jin Yuan,you have been a great source of strength for me.You helped me out at certain times and perhaps sometimes you dont.You're a great guy but sometimes, when ur angry, please do speak up.I know people like to keep things to themselves,but i am someone you can trust.I hope u feel that way towards me too.And no thanking needed for my listening ear.
Andrew,you are a great person with a tremendous upright standing for your ways.That's a good point.I regret my childishness in the past for so called making fun of you.But perhaps sometimes you should be less suspicious of your surroundings.Things do not happen as much as you suspect.Anyways, i wish you all the best in all ur future endeavours for graphical stuff.
Well, many of whoever is reading this, will probably have more names to mention to me.But my humble tally of closer friends have been all that i had.
And of course, there was "You/Her/She".Because of you, i had poor concentration in studying.I always missed you.Everytime i get to see you,i would firstly think that i would feel happy.But, that is not the case.The sadness dives in which outweighs the happiness.Perhaps, it is because when i am near your presence, i feel that you are so near, yet so far.The worst feeling i always get would be that i would never get to be with you.You seemed so out of place, like you would never be able to love again.And which girl would ever fall for me?That would be the joke of the century.The despair always drives me crazy, for i do not think i could do without you.The last time i saw you, i think my mind almost collapsed.I thought, what if, i could never see you again. That sadness would seriously be the worst feeling ever, and the thought of it brought me into a land of emptiness.Never, will be good enough for you...
And to add, next year would be a new year, a new school, a new bunch of people.How can i cope?I would have lost everything by then, from friendship to love to friends.Everything disappears practically before my very eyes, with me powerless to prevent them.What do i even live for?
Not to add another example that nothing lasts forever, the most shocking incident, about miss ho, or should i say, madam ho.She was a great teacher, taught me from sec 1 to sec 4.We were all decimated when we heard of the new of her sudden leaving of this world.And to add that she was on her honeymoon, it added to the fiery of all who was feeling very sorry for her.To me,she had given me lots of encouragement.She had given everyone strength as she taught us strength.She had given us hope when we needed hope.She had given us encouragement when we needed to be encouraged.Everyone and myself, would really have this wonderful person thanked from heaven to earth for all the love she had showered on us.Thank you Miss Ho Poh Yoke.
Seriously, li yang, I can't bear to let you go.Who knows whether i would see you again.Dont say you" shy" or "hai xiu", because i am serious.I never wanted to let you go, and wished i could do something to stop you from leaving, maybe glueing your feet to the ground or even ankle snaring you, but nothing can be done, you have to leave.So, i will be strong, and just let you leave.Anyway, by the time you get to see this, that is an if u get to see this, you should have already gone back already.
People are leaving, and i want to leave too.I dont want to surface, i dont want to appear, i dont want to exist.I am always wronged by people for things i never do anyways.I am shunned aside for nothing.People are just,"their group" with the "keep out" sign.I cant be bothered anymore.
