My heart really hurts now. Andy chua you have really done it. No need to feel triumphant with that ego of yours. I am just condemning you now even more. You are the worst kinda lifeform i have ever seen in my life. Not only are you beyond hope, but u are below them all. The worst of the worst, the despicable of the despicable..I ain't got much to say to you..

Memories flow back from the distant past, one that regrets not being lived again, but you can never turn back time. Memories that can never be forgotten especially when they were dear to you. What does memories mean to you if you didn't like it? But what if you loved it, the person, or whatever, what would the memories mean to you? It would be something so precious to you. Looking at my clothing cupboard..a really old one.. It has a fully stuck sticker of underone roof cartoon characters. I didn't exactly like that show, but my dad bought it for me, rather randomly. I took it carefully and stuck it on the cupboard..without messing the order, exactly the way it came. It's now still on my cupboard. Looking at it, it just made me feel at least 10 years younger. I can't believe how much time has gone by, yet, I've been living a life without him.

I just think back. I seriously think, I would rather that he totally disappeared after they separated when I was 4. At least I won't have memories to dwell on. Bringing me out every sunday, almost, till I was 13...

13 years old..Dad disappeared. Gramps, went to heaven. 15 years old, granny disappeared too. But hey, I got to meet my gramp's mum before she left too...is that even a good thing. I remember the last thing she gave me was a 20dollars bird series note. She was 92, and like..crying and stuff, insisting that i take it.

You know what would make a man cry? It's something called love. I love my dad. And the reason why I hate you,cch, is cause I love my dad. I won't have it, you saying me being fatherless. I have a dad, and he's the reason I'm here. That's more than enough reason to love him.

I reckon no one would understand me. Really, no one. And why I am even more irritated, is cause my dad ain't in the best of health now. I can't see him, find out his condition and so on. But from the symptoms I heard, I dun think he'll be around for much longer. Thanks for the compliment..cch..yup, i might just very well be "fatherless" soon=)..

Omg..I used the shower to flush a small lizard down the sink...-.-..only 3 things can happen. 1, the lizard crawls back up. 2, the lizard is gone forever. 3, the lizard will get sucked up for choking the sink one day, or at least the skeleton will.................

nothing to say. Been so tired and sick for the past MONTHS. OMG. HATE this man. And a particular c&c&h is getting rather annoying, which has been increasing with an alarming rate.

I finally got hold of final fantasy 8=D. Dumb thing is that i gotta write the files into the disc before i can play it-.-. Virtual drives don't work.

Havent heard much from someone. Hope you're doing alright. Shan't go music clinic later. Rather sick and also gotta finish up the freaken project....TALKING ABOUT PROJECT, screw it man, i gotta present twice while others only present once. God Damned it. One to the school, one to the bloody company. Can i just plant a C4 at their headquarters-.-?

Hiring> any cch who can carry C4 and run and destroy that company for me? payment will be done in the afterlife=P.

I don't know why, but certain people of the past has occasionally popped up in my mind. Do i not know my feelings? Or do i think back and feel how not having them has made me happy to know you today. But I do know, I miss you. And you don't really seem to care about me either ways.

IMY,ILY.

This is a great story!

A Simple Story of True Love and True Care

I was born in a secluded village on a mountain. Day by day, my parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs towards the sky.
I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me. I wanted to buy a handkerchief, which all girls around me seemed to have. So, one day I stole 50 cents from my father's drawer. Father had discovered about the stolen money right away.

He made me and my younger brother kneel against the wall as he held a bamboo stick in his hand. "Who stole the money?" he asked. I was stunned, too afraid to talk. Neither of us admitted to the fault, so he said, "Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you two should be beaten!"

He lifted up the bamboo stick. Suddenly, my younger brother gripped father's hand and said," Dad, I was the one who did it!" The long stick smacked my brother's back repeatedly. Father was so angry that he kept on whipping my brother until he lost his breath. After that, he sat down on our stone bed and scolded my brother, "You have learned to steal from your own house now. What other embarrassing things will you be possibly doing in the future? You should be beaten to death, you shameless thief!"

That night, my mother and I hugged my brother. His body was full of wounds from the beating but he never shed a single tear. In the middle of the night, all of sudden, I cried out loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said, " Sis, now don't cry anymore. Everything has happened."

I still hate myself for not having enough courage to admit what I did. Years gone by, but the incident still seemed like it just happened yesterday. I will never forget my brother's expression when he protected me. That year, my brother was 8 years old and I was 11 years old. When my brother was in his last year of secondary school, he was accepted in an upper secondary school in the central. At the same time, I was accepted into a university in the province.

That night, father squatted in the yard, smoking, packet by packet.I could hear him ask my mother, "Both of our children, they have good results? very good results?" Mother wiped off her tears and sighed," What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?" At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of father and said,"Dad, I don't want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books." Father swung his hand and slapped my brother on his face. "Why do you have a spirit so damn weak? Even if it means I have to beg for money on the streets, I will send you two to school until you have both finished your study!"

And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow money. I stuck out my hand as gently as I can to my brother's swollen face, and told him, "A boy has to continue his study; If not, he will not be able to overcome this poverty we are experiencing." I, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study at the university. Nobody knew that on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to my side of the bed and left a note on my pillow; "Sis, getting into a university is not easy. I will go find a job and I will send money to you."

I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice. That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old. With the money father borrowed from the whole village, and the money my brother earned from carrying cement on his back at a construction site,finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the university. One day, while I was studying in my room, my roommate came in and told me,"There's a villager waiting for you outside!" Why would there be a villager looking for me? I walked out, and I saw my brother from afar. His whole body was covered with dirt, dust, cement and sand.

I asked him, "Why did you not tell my roommate that you are my brother?" He replied with a smile," Look at my appearance. What will they think if they would know that I am your brother? Won't they laugh at you?" I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dirt and dust from my brother's body. And told him with a lump in my throat, " I don't care what people would say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance is?"

From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He put it on my hair and said, "I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. So, I think you should also have one." I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into my arms and cried. That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old. I noticed that the broken window was repaired the first time I brought my boyfriend home. The house was scrubbed cleaned. After my boyfriend left, I danced like a little girl in front of my mother, "Mom, you didn't have to spend so much time cleaning the house!"

But she told me with a smile," It was your brother who went home early to clean the house. Didn't you see the wound on his hand? He hurt his hand while he was replacing the window." I went into my brother's bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I felt like there are hundreds of needle pricked in my heart.

I applied some ointment on his wound and put a bandage on it, "Does it hurt? " I asked him. "No, it doesn't hurt. You know, when at the construction site, stones keep falling on my feet . Even that could not stop me from working." In the middle of the sentence, he stopped. I turned my back on him and tears rolled down my face. That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old.

After I got married, I lived in the city. Many times my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn't want. They said, once they left the village,they wouldn't know what to do. My brother agreed with them. He said, "Sis, you just take care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of mom and dad here." My husband became the director of his factory. We asked my brother to accept the offer of being the manager in the maintenance department. But my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on working as a repairman instead for a start.

One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital. My husband and I visited him at the hospital. Looking at the white gypsum on his leg, I grumbled, "Why did you reject the offer of being a manager? Managers won't do something dangerous like that. Now look at you, You are suffering a serious injury. Why didn't you just listen to us?" With a serious expression on his face, he defended his decision, "Think of brother-in-law. He just became the director, and I being uneducated, and would become a manager, what kind of rumors would fly around?" My husband's eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, "But you lack in education only because of me!" "Why do you talk about the past?" he said and then he held my hand. That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old. My brother was 30 years old when he married a farmer girl from the village. During the wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, "Who is the one person you respect and love the most?"

Without even taking a time to think, he answered," My sister." He continued by telling a story I could not even remember. "When I was in primary school, the school was in a different village. Everyday, my sister and I would walk for 2 hours to school and back home. One day, I lost the other pair of my gloves. My sister gave me one of hers. She wore only one glove and she had to walk far. When we got home, her hands were trembling because of the cold weather that she could not even hold her chopsticks. From that day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take care of my sister and will always be good to her."

Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their attention to me. I found it hard to speak, "In my whole life, the one I would like to thank most is my brother," And in this happy occasion,in front of the crowd, tears were rolling down my face again. Love and care for the one you love every single days of your life. You may think what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it may mean a lot.

Perhaps I had been thinking too much..She's probably down with pharyngitis..thus the fever leading to headache..Take care..

Hope you'll be alright..

ILY.

Hope it wasn't too lame Jessie, using laptop at void deck=/..

Whole night full of nightmares,one after another. Is something bad really going to happen? Or am I thinking too much? Patience..We all have our lives to live and time isn't exactly on our side..Just that my time to be extremely busy is just round the corner.


my current favorite song,不能说的秘密-周杰伦

冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面
拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐(oh~~)
回忆的画面
在荡着秋千 梦开始不甜

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
又何必去改变 已错过的时间
你用你的指尖 阻止我说再见
想象你在身边 在完全失去之前

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
或许命运的签 只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋 这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现 这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

And this song is for her..

我一直都想对你说
你给我想不到的快乐像绿洲给了沙漠
说你会永远陪着我
做我的根我翅膀让我飞也有回去的窝
我愿意我也可以付出一切也不会可惜
就在一起看时间流逝要记得我们相爱的方式
就是爱你爱着你有悲有喜有你平淡也有了意义
就是爱你爱着你甜蜜又安心那种感觉就是你
我一直都想对你说
你给我想不到的快乐像绿洲给了沙漠
说你会永远陪着我
做我的根我翅膀让我飞也有回去的窝
我愿意真的愿意付出所有也要保护你
oh 在一起时间继续流逝请记得我有多么的爱你
oh 就是爱你爱着你不弃不离开不在意一路有多少风雨
就是爱你爱着你放在你手心灿烂的幸福全给你
oh 就是爱你爱着你我都愿意
就是爱你爱着你要我们在一起

ILY.

You know, we first met in the music classroom. Something I do and love, whilst at it, I met you. I wish you'd know how precious it meant to me. I wish you'd know how I really feel. What do you think about me? Do you think of me?

You're amazing..
so amazing..
have i told you
enough
you're my angel
my guardian angel
darling i've
i've been blessed with love

But if i be gone tomorrow
Would you know how deep my love goes
Have i ever told you
You're the one

If the words don't come my way
I hope you still know
I hope it still shows
If the words don't come my way
I hope you still know
What my heart wants to say

ILY.

I await the day you'd hold my hand, call me yours and walk through this life together, caring and watching out for each other, and picking each other up when we fall <3

I'm falling sick, or maybe I am. Had diarrhoea like hell yesterday, woke up early from it.Gah. And horoscope said i would have a long morning..indeed-.-

Now am having this damned nose dripping and sneezing like a tap. Can someone call the plumber!?...-.-..


-I wanna know you more, be there for you when you need me, if you ever need me. I'd run to the other end of the world just to make sure you're safe and keep you away from harm. I want to be the one to care for you like i always do. And for some reason, I knew I loved you before I met you-

The day I first saw you
Had a feeling I've known you

We talked for the first time
on the day we also first sang together
What really captivated me at that time
Was your stunning beauty altogether

Your smile portrayed serenity
Your eyes connected with mine
Stare if i may
How I wish now, you are mine

Letting me send you home makes me amazed
But let me tell you, it puts a smile on my face
Time stops when I look into your eyes
It makes it even harder for saying goodbyes

All I can say now is
That I hate time
For all these lonesome thoughts about you,
Exist all the time

I'd admit you're always on my mind
But would you care?would you mind?
Or would you even bother?
Or just think of me as a bother?

Do you know my true feelings?
Or even all of my doings
You seem to be rather oblivious
To whatever I have been doing which are really obvious.

All I can do now
Is dream for that someday
when you'd call me yours
and tell me you love me,everyday

I wish we'd never part each other's company
for I want to spend more time with you, surely
Coming clean with you sure is hard to do
but I really know, I love you

What has happened to me
name it if i might
Surely it would be
love at first sight

*Did you know..The very first time we sang together, you challenged me to sing the song I had a phobia on, you really made me feel comfortable. I want you to know...it wasn't a cheeky remark, cause I really meant it.*

*Daniel Webster*

To advance further musically,vocally
To be able to touch people's hearts through music
A good acoustic guitar
A good lead guitar and amp
Be someone of invisibly huge stature
To be as rich as possible
The means to be able to do whatever I want ;)
To be a person who imparts skills and wisdom to others
To be a giver to the needy

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