Thursday, January 31, 2008 @ 9:15 PM :D
♥
I feel like I am far from appreciated. I am working really hard, trying to do better always. But..
First thing which is non-related, I quarreled with someone today. Some stupid communication problem, started with my slippery tongue. Just don't know how to feel after the incident cause it was like, I don't know if it was entirely my fault. At least don't angry for so long arh..all these just make me feel like tearing, for such a thing to happen. Crying over spilt milk perhaps?
Ran into the two of em while walking from school to a bus stop in amk. Somehow I didn't really know how to react.
Met the "blind guy" again. Helped him up his bus 86. And he thought I was from Secondary school.heh. And the god-damned 169 took like 35mins to come. Screw 6:30-7:00pm rush hour when people slow down the bus service.
Got home excited to practice. After that had a friend call me and I played the guitar and sang some. My mum came in, and called what I play "Kao Bei".
Got rather pissed off and so on, had a short quarrel. Lost the mood to play anything. Played 2 choruses, 1 full song. One I was trying to teach, two of my favorites. The person of the phone doesn't even know which song I was playing. I hung up with disappointment and agony.
First my mum said what I played is Kao Bei, and next a frequent listener of what I play doesn't know what I am playing.
Am I playing for naught? Am I even being appreciated, that I am trying my best to do my best musically? Am I wasting my time, excitedly trying to play for people over the phone cause I simply love to?
I just feel..somehow lost. Fading away. Friends, so called, or maybe friends, are fading away, drawing the curtains of the shadows. Hmm..Did I really have much real friends to begin with?
I really wonder..
My heart feels heavy.
Is my determination to success faltering?
Is all I have dreamed of gonna stay that way, being a dream?
Is there ever a time when I can really succeed and just do what I love to do?
What's in store for me...?
