I wish you'd say that everything we had was priceless, but I really don't know what's going on right now. I hope it's just not worthless. I can only pray for your happiness and well being, while suffering in silence because I don't have a choice. I never chose to love you after all; I just did. There was never a choice in this for me.

I just wanted to mutually understand each other, but perhaps we failed to find the space and time for that.

If there is something you're hating me for, I hope you can find somewhere in your heart to at least forgive me, whatever the reason. For you to do this, you probably hate me so much. Still, I hope that one day we'd talk once again.

And, Happy 6th month Anniversary to the metallic object which sealed our hearts, resting on our fourth finger, for around 5 months. It's truly the only item we had as a couple after our shirts, my shirt, got dyed a different colour..

It's the 25th once again. A special day, whether or not it is anymore. I feel quite unhappy and not normal to not be able to wish you, yet I cant sms or msn due to certain reasons...

20months..=)

It's been rather fun with stuffs happening. It looks as though you've been having a good time also..so I'm happy as this is what I wished for.

Life's such a challenge. I miss the old days, and dream for the new ones.

I really wanted to sing 爱的主旋律 at least once with you.

People may always screw up, but that does not mean they don't love you. Things happen for a reason, for you to get over it and learn not to fall over it.

To be honest, I am really confused if I am being selfish or not. True enough you have said clearly that day. But I really never wanted it despite what I said on my part also. So am I being selfish for being there for you though we're not together anymore, or are you being selfish for not even being bothered about me? I never once really blamed you for anything, despite whatever I say. It's such a regret for everything..

I have done whatever I can as someone who was and wanted to be your special someone. I believe I have done my duties, despite screwing up and also have complied to your wishes to as much as I can. All I wish for, is the best for you now. For you to decide what you want with your life.

Perhaps you really don't want me anymore and thus ignore me so you wouldn't have to tell me so once again and hurt me. But I really wish for us to be talking normally at least like the first time we met.

I still want us to at least be friends. I hope I would not be something you'd run away from for the rest of your life, or something you'd avoid. If I am a source of hatred, I hope it'd be appeased soon. If I am just an eyesore, I hope you'd find some strength to use your eyedrops soon. If I am a source bad memories, I hope you'd remember the good ones instead.

I'll always cherish our moments together, our personal promises and statements of love..

You've made my life colourful with your liking of sunflower and the colour orange. I thank you for the wonderful times you've given me.

I'll be cheering you from afar. Take care, and live well.

Labels: Love's not a choice

It's been a while. Things seem to be drifting away, but that's far from the truth.

I wonder how you are, I wonder what you're thinking of tonight. I wonder.

All in all, I have only 2 requests if you should ever read this.

First, no matter what happens, please decide for yourself what you truely want. What others say are just poison. Things they like to say but don't know what's going on..so,decide for yourself. Remember that anyone who has not been through it, only can give dubious answers. I want you to be happy, not be in regret later on. Commitment is fuck, what matters most now, is you know what you want.

Second, never forget whatever I have taught/warned you about. I may not be right, but do decide for yourself what is.

Labels: Drifting thoughts, floating emotions

Thanks all for being there for me...Shaun/Yida and co..San and co..samuel. It has indeed been hard, this period.

And happy ord! To Yida and...liyong...hope you guys excel in all endeavours.

Life's as usual, but much more colourful now, being in s4 branch. And with everything's that's happening, I guess it's been a good retreat to really think things through of what I truely want. It's time to work towards what I can get..

What's mine, will come to me. I believe so, or perhaps I want it so.

I was having a slight blankout, being quite tired. It made me think somehow, what would I fear most losing on my body, a physical thing. I had a rather striking answer..yet the thing is seemingly unimportant.

I fear losing, my fourth finger.

The only thing I want most now in the world, is to put your hand in mine, my cheek to your cheek and to really say that I love you. I truely regret everything and I want to make up for them.

It is true that I have lost the ability to put that smile on your face..but it was truely always all I ever wanted. I do hope however, that something, somewhere, someone out there would put that smile on you and make sure you'll be alright when I cant be there to do it anymore.

If I had to travel a thousand miles to get to you, I would. And I will wait for you.

Even at town where all the babes are, nothing is in them as what I see in you. I only want you and I truely miss you.

I love my baby en. take care and do your best for school

I'm back, to normal hopefully.

In anycase, been through quite a bit recently. Have been thinking of the true purpose of various things as well as learning a few stuffs on the way.

One thing that's learnt, is that things have to be done in a "just do it" manner. But I still stand strong that just doing it isn't enough. Learn, to just do it, well.

Another, being too nice to everyone indeed is a bad point, but then again, nothing is bad so long as you make the bad point in your advantage and it becomes good.

Nothing is negative unless the receiver thinks it is. A problem is only a problem when the person having it thinks it is. So, in the end, the problem is always back to whomever is having it. So what is the problem? Or should I say "Who" is the problem?

Stress is self created. There can be no stress without the person having it. So is the stress to blame or the person having it to be blamed for having it?

Admitting defeat is sometimes important. To most, they would think you've lost the fight. However, I think you have won, swallowing the ego which might otherwise swallow you whole. Live to fight for another day, you can never build a dream in heaven or hell. Your spirit and will may die today, but you will come back stronger the next, just like how failure is a stepping stone to success.

*Daniel Webster*

To advance further musically,vocally
To be able to touch people's hearts through music
A good acoustic guitar
A good lead guitar and amp
Be someone of invisibly huge stature
To be as rich as possible
The means to be able to do whatever I want ;)
To be a person who imparts skills and wisdom to others
To be a giver to the needy

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